A Time for Change Part 3: Best for the Student in Special Education

A Time for Change Part 3: Best for the Student

In my previous blogs, I talked about what I saw as a double standard and the lack of support. Now, let’s talk about special education and what’s best for the student.

For some students, what's best for them can go beyond what is written in an IEP.

How do we know what’s best for the student? An Individualized Education Plan (IEP) is designed to tailor a student’s academic learning or overall environment to their unique needs and specific disability. The goal of an IEP is to provide supports and accommodations that best meet the student’s needs. However, if it’s really about what’s best for the student, then it should extend beyond the IEP.

Let me explain what I mean by discussing a few scenarios with you, and then you decide.

For some students, "least restrictive environment" and "inclusion" can feel like being lost in a crowd with no one to help.

I can’t tell you how many times, as a parent and as a para, I have heard the words “inclusion” and “least restrictive environment possible." I heard it all the time as a parent, and I hear it now, too. These phrases are the most widely used phrases in the special education realm. In general, I think these are good things, and I fully support both, especially inclusion. In fact, I've fought for students I've worked with to be included in regular classes. True story: I worked in a Sped program where the Sped teacher deliberately kept specific students who could and would benefit from time in a general education setting out of those classes and secluded in the Sped room. I fought desperately to advocate for those students, but I was ignored. So I do support inclusion and the least restrictive environment possible, when it is fitting for the student. However, I think there are times when we are missing something. I mean, it should be what’s best for the student, even if that means alternative placement or setting. Now, before you decide to come at me with pitchforks and torches, let me explain what I mean.

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

For some students with special needs, attending a public school in a general education setting through a special education program is absolutely the best option. But this is not true for ALL students. For some, that “inclusion” can feel more like seclusion, and “least restrictive environment possible” can actually be the MOST restrictive environment possible. Which is why it’s important to know your student and their needs. Special education should be based 100% on the student's needs.

You see, some kids get triggered easily in a general education room and actually perform better in a small classroom. Some have needs that require more one-on-one attention, because they may get upset and run out of the classroom or the building. For some, being in a general education classroom can mean less support, because the para has to help everyone. (And yes, there are times and circumstances where we are told to help EVERYONE and help support the class, not just our student.) Or maybe the student needs far more structure than a public-school setting can provide to thrive academically. Unfortunately, sometimes, even the special education classroom isn't enough.

Which brings me to the first topic: Out-of-District Placement

Sometimes a smaller classroom can do things a large one can't.

If a student needs a different learning environment that requires an out-of-district placement, it should not be a fight for parents to secure that placement. We are the best experts on our kids, and since they are entitled to a free and public education, that education should always meet their needs, no matter the setting. Instead, districts will fight that until they decide it needs to be done. They will even go so far as to drag it out, saying that they need "evidence" that it is the best course of action. (I've known kids who have had large binders full of evidence that supported out-of-district placement, and the district still refused.)

So, why must we as parents allow districts to “decide” that an out-of-district placement is appropriate? Why must it be the district's idea? Why should it take so long to accomplish? I know people are going to say, “Well, I can’t afford an out-of-district school, so I don’t have a choice.” Ok, which brings me to my next question: Why should it even be a choice? If your child will thrive better in a different school setting, and the district is required to provide a free and public education. Why must it take months or even a whole school year before the district agrees? All that does is keep the student at a disadvantage and cause more dysregulation and unnecessary difficulties for them in school. Preventing them from ever meeting their IEP goals.

Inclusion feels great when we are seen and heard.

Did you know that sometimes these placements can actually benefit our kids? These placements can bring in more adults to provide proper levels of support, offer smaller class sizes, and help the students actually meet their goals. On a personal level, the proper placement can help students feel seen, heard, and not alone, provide opportunities for growth, and, most importantly, allow us to step into their world first. (More on that at and what it means at the end) So for some students, it can be very beneficial and serve as a temporary setting if used early.

I have seen out-of-district placement or lack thereof affect students’ time and time again, both as a mom and as a para. As a parent, my daughter was not surviving in a general education classroom or in a public school special education classroom. She was being left behind, there was too much stimulation, and, most importantly, there was not enough support. I asked for the out-of-district placement at the start of the school year. I knew it was the best thing for her, but they said no. Then, in October of that year (3 months after starting school), they decided it was needed, as if it were their idea. However, by the time we got the placement, damage had already been done. She was further behind than she should have been. School refusal was such a problem at this point that we fought to get her to attend school in an alternative setting. She had already been severely traumatized by the district and school’s actions towards her, so she didn’t trust anyone at first. I knew my daughter and what she needed, but as a parent, I was ignored.

In Special education, both quality and quantity count.

I’ve seen this as a para too. I’ve seen students who need way more support than we, as a class, can provide. Now, that also has a lot to do with staffing, but we will get to that next. However, I’ve seen students who need such a high level of support that they would benefit from a different setting. That setting change isn’t about seclusion or making it the most restrictive environment possible. The districts are good about spinning it that way. Instead, for some students, it can be the most inclusive and least restrictive environment possible. The point of those phrases should be to further their academic, social, and emotional goals, not hinder them. And if the current settings are hindering it, then it’s absolutely not the best setting for them at that time.

A crisis can be avoided when the right tools are in place.

Now let’s talk classroom. See, most special education classrooms have about 10-12 students at one time, and only one teacher and two paraprofessionals. The ratio of adults to students is based on the number of students, not on the level of need. If they did, there would be more adults in these programs. Why does this matter?

Let me explain. For example, if your child is one of 12 kids in an AN (Affective Needs) program, there is most often one teacher and two paraprofessionals. You can also count on there being at least 4-6 students whose level of need is so high that there are never enough adults in the room at once to properly and safely manage the situation when a student becomes dysregulated. Which means, students may have to be evacuated, thereby disrupting their learning. It can also mean that one person is left alone to manage a class of 6-8 students while the other two adults are out of the room tending to another student or students. Even worse is when a higher-level need student becomes dysregulated; it tends to set off the other higher-level need students. Which creates a recipe for utter disaster. So now you have one person with the other students who have left the room. Leaving two adults with the dysregulated student and the other 4-5 students who are now dysregulated as a result. But we aren’t done yet!! Let’s say one of the other students is a runner, now one of the two adults has to go after that student to keep line of sight. Leaving one adult with the first student, trying to keep them safe, and the other 3-4 students trying to keep them safe. All this can and has happened within minutes and before building support arrives.

Here’s another issue with this setup…it provides a liability issue. Yep, you heard me. A liability issue. This student-to-adult ratio puts students and adults at risk. If you have a student with a higher level of need who tends to flip desks, throw things at people, or aggressively advance towards someone when they become dysregulated, there is now the issue of injury. I've had a chair thrown at me twice (in other programs, but I've seen it all). My daughter trashed her classroom multiple times. I would walk in and find chairs flipped over, papers on the floor, a desk tipped on its side, etc. So, yes, this does happen. This can happen to students or adults. As a Para, I will do everything I can to prevent my student or students from getting hurt, even if that means putting myself in harm’s way. However, if the students' needs are being met and the staffing ratio per student is set to meet those needs, rather than the number of students, then that should not be a concern.

Our brain controls our body and our reactions. Sometimes it needs a little more help.

Let me make this clear: this is not an attack on the students. Our students struggle with basic regulation during the day. Our kids' brains seem to trigger a fight-or-flight response. That response is not something that they know how to control. That's why they need those extra supports to meet those needs and help them try to override the brain's initial reaction. This, however, is a district issue. A properly staffed program will be based on the student's needs, not on the number. When we do that, we lower the risk of injury. We don't make it go away; we just lower the risk from where it is now.

There are some who don’t often get that dysregulated, and those are students we can work with and help faster. But there are a lot of students who get so dysregulated so quickly, without warning, or so often that these types of things aren’t always avoidable. This leaves staff walking in not knowing whether that will be a day they get injured. Or worse, if they will sustain an injury so severe that it can alter their life, and it can happen. The level of unknowns and risks makes it difficult to do our job and support our students to the best of our ability, because we are always on high alert. Another downside to this is that, as parents, we don’t consider that if this happens too often, people start leaving. They quit; they don’t want to risk that level of injury or any injury for that matter. The more who leave, the harder it is to fill the positions, and eventually, if enough quit, the programs have to shut down. Which means our kids are left without any support.

If inclusion is important, then we should make it more attainable with the right supports.

Now in an SSN class, it’s usually 2-3 students per para. Students lose learning time if one of them needs more breaks or has other needs, because more often than not, that para has to leave with all students to meet the needs of one student. That does two things: not only does that take away from their learning time, but it also reduces the amount of time in the classroom, which can violate their IEP. They also lose learning time because the para has to move between the other students, spending maybe a few minutes with each.

And don’t even think about getting a one-on-one; districts don’t like to provide that. I know this both as a Parent and as a para. The student-to-adult ratio is never based on the needs of the student/s, but on the number of students in a class. This limits the amount and type of support the student may need to meet goals or just be successful during the day. Which, again, is why sometimes that can be the most restrictive environment possible, and it can also mean seclusion rather than inclusion.

There are also times when the best place for a student in a public school setting isn't in a general education classroom at all, but in a special education classroom for all academics. Then perhaps they spend their elective classes with the general education class. Sometimes students just need a smaller classroom size with more dedicated support, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

When we meet our students' needs, we set them up for success, not failure.

Side note: When I was in school, I was in special education. I spent three years in a small special education classroom. It was me, the teacher, and about 7 other students. We had all our academics in that one class, and we attended electives with the general education students. I grew leaps and bounds during those three years, so when I got to 8th grade and high school. I was able to stand on my own in a regular class with little help.

Now, I would like to offer you another example of what’s best for the student and how, when parents aren't heard, it can backfire. When my daughter started 6^th grade, I asked that she be able to transition between classes either before or after the passing period. I was firmly told no, that she HAD to do it during passing period. I knew this was not possible; I knew it would be overstimulating for her, but instead of being met with a partnership. I was met with resistance. On her first day of school, I got a call to pick her up, and when I did, I was told that what set her off was the passing period. To which they proceeded to tell me that they felt it would be a good idea for her to transition either before or after the passing period. Can we say face palm? I was told no, but because it was their idea, suddenly it was a great idea. Unfortunately, that one time was all it took. My daughter learned that if the school and staff wouldn't listen to her mom, they wouldn't listen to her. She had so much anxiety from that first day that it continued to affect her moving forward and added to the already large snowball of trauma and difficulty that had built up from 5th grade.

My daughter needed that different transition, and I’ve seen students who have needed this sort of modification, or something similar, yet they are denied it. And I know what you will say, “Well, it needs to be in their IEP.” Maybe, but it was never added because it was their idea and an accommodation they could make without involving the IEP. (Their words, not mine) So, if we are doing what’s best for our kids, parents need to be heard and feel like partners, not outsiders.

When material isn't taught in the way they learn, they aren't able to access the material successfully.

One more example took place in the 5^th grade. My daughter was struggling to understand and learn the “Common Core Math” curriculum. I finally gave up on her homework (I didn’t, and still don’t, understand it either) and started teaching her my way. Unfortunately, when I tried to address this with her AN teacher, I got pushback and was told she had no choice. She had to learn their way, end of story. Despite the fact that their way was literally triggering her and upsetting her. Verses my way, which she was actually finally starting to understand. The teacher didn’t care and refused to work with my daughter and teach her in a way that she could understand the material. The teacher was so focused on my daughter learning the district’s way that she deliberately caused problems, and as a result, my daughter fell further behind. It mattered more to this teacher to make a point than to deepen her academic understanding or expand her goals. (spoiler alert: the outside school placement she attended, where she actually thrived, taught her the way I did.) Again, this goes back to doing what is best for the student.

However, not just parents need to be heard. Paras and the staff who work directly with our students daily also need to be heard. They know our students better than any district behavioralist who comes, sits for 30 minutes, and calls that an “evaluation.”  I mean think about it...how well do you know someone after watching them, just watching them for 30 minutes? My guess is not that well. Or the same behavioralist who comes and does something that isn’t realistic for the setting. For instance, they may sit with the student one-on-one and get a positive response. All that proves, though, is that that student’s level of need requires that level of support, which just isn’t sustainable or realistic for a daily classroom routine. Especially not when you have 12 students and 3 adults in a classroom, and most of the day is spent managing the number and volume of events.

Support is like a puzzle we are always trying to figure out.

My point is that we need to do what is best for the students, not what’s best for everyone else. If a student needs that higher level of support, they should be getting it, and it should not be a fight. The amount of support can always be reduced later. The point of providing that higher level of support is to help the student meet their immediate goals. So that they can eventually, hopefully, either sustain with less support or handle being in a regular or semi-regular public school setting. Not necessarily a general education setting right away, but at least back in a public school.

With all of that said, I want to leave you with one last story, one that ends on a good note. I think it’s fitting, because we can’t be all doom and gloom. Something positive has to come from the fight we face every day as parents, right? So, here is the positive and hope for you.

My daughter began to thrive and grow academically in a smaller, specialized autism program that was not far from our house. She was, for the first time in years, meeting her goals and making progress. The staff there taught her in ways she would understand, just like I tried to teach her math in elementary school. For the first time, my daughter had a teacher she actually admired, listened to, and liked. She was growing and starting to meet her goals. Unfortunately, she never reached the level where she was really ready to return to a regular school. Which resulted in all that progress being ruined when the district (and my daughter) decided to return to a regular public school. High school, of all places. Anyways, I knew she wasn’t ready for that transition yet. But she had it in her head she was, because the district planted the idea and kept reinforcing it over and over, every chance they got. As a result of that change, she began to slip again and regressed badly. So we were forced to make a decision. This resulted in us completely pulling her and sending her to live with my mom in Florida. While in Florida, she attempted school, then homeschool, and finally enrolled in a GED program.

Our daughter on her graduation day. We never thought we would ever see this day.

Here is what the GED program did for her. It let her do her work on her time, it provided her with a small class, consistent access to the teacher for support, a chance to learn in her own way, and plenty of time to work at her own pace. All the things the public school could not and would not do for her. Where the school district failed my daughter, the GED program was successful. As a result, my daughter graduated with her GED in the summer of 2024, and we got to see her walk across the stage to get her diploma. Something that we never thought we would ever see happen. My daughter, autistic with an intellectual disability, was physically aggressive and eloped on several occasions. She graduated because we did what was best for her and because we never stopped fighting. Sometimes, I look back and think about how I should have gone the GED route a lot sooner. However, I think it worked out the way it needed to. God had His hand in it, and He knew what He was doing.           

"In order for our students to grow and step into our world, we first need to step into their world."

So, that’s it. That is my thoughts, my opinions, my views of doing what is best for our students. You may or may not agree, but I hope this helped you see something from a different perspective and, at the very least, gain something to consider. Some students do well in regular, special education, and general education programs. While others need more than what a district can or will provide. There is no shame in that. Believe me, I used to think there was, but there isn’t. Because of my daughter, I have a saying that I always go by: “In order for our students to grow and step into our world, we first need to step into their world.” I stand by that even today. This is not a maybe; this is an absolute must. If we want to see our kids grow, we can’t force them into our world; it doesn’t work. It actually backfires more often than not. I’m sure there are parents who know exactly what I am talking about, and it’s 100% true. If we want to see our kids meet their goals and make strides toward growth (no matter what that growth looks like), we have to start by entering their world first and meeting them where they are. Only then can we hope to see the changes that we want for them.           

Your path might be your own, but when we walk together, we are never alone.

This blog brings my series to a close…for now. I’m sure I’ll have more to share later, and if I do, I will, but these are the things that are on my heart at this moment. Our kids need us to be their voices, to be their advocates, and if we hope to ever give them a chance in life, we need school districts to stop the power plays and ego trips and start working with us. Either we are a team, or we aren’t. If we hope to support our special education students, we need to be a team, and it cannot be compromised.

Whatever path you take, keep fighting, parents! Keep being your kids’ voices! Don’t stop, don’t give up! Our kids need us, and our kids count on us. Find ways, shout from the rooftops, find help, and keep fighting. Because in the end, we are the best hope for our kids. Most importantly, know this…you are my community, and I stand with you. And remember, with God, you are never, never alone.

God Bless, K. M. Leffler

P.S. If this blog—or any of my others—spoke to you, I’d truly love to hear from you. Take a moment to comment and share your thoughts. And if you know someone who needs encouragement, please share this with them. We’re not meant to walk this journey alone—and when we stand together, we are so much stronger.

If you want to go a little deeper, I’ve shared more of my story—especially the journey with my daughter and how God met us in even the hardest moments—in my book, Never Alone: A Story of God’s Faithfulness and Love. My prayer is that it reminds you that no matter what you’re facing, He is there.

Thank you for taking the time to read. It truly means more than you know.